


First Name Basis

by Sue Corkill (mscorkill)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-17
Updated: 2012-04-17
Packaged: 2017-11-03 20:31:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscorkill/pseuds/Sue%20Corkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Jack have to deal with the fallout of Jolinar's possession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Name Basis

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Louisa, for giving me this plot bunny. I hope you like the story! Many thanks to Wendy for her help and comments. And to all the gals I met at SG-5, enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Originally posted November 2002.

FIRST NAME BASIS

 

_"When you speak to her, do not see your friend."_

 

Seeing her as his friend wasn't the problem. All he could see her as was his lover. Jack wasn't at all sure how he could hold any kind of conversation, much less an interrogation, with the woman he'd made love to less than twelve hours earlier. Of course, he had thought that woman was Samantha Carter.... He should have known it wasn't Sam!

 

Jack entered the holding cell, the guard stiffened to attention. Jack gave him a curt nod and the young SF left the room, the door clanging shut ominously behind him. Jack faced the woman who looked like Sam Carter, standing so silently on the other side of the bars and laser sensors. Working to keep his own expression neutral, he looked carefully at her unsmiling face. Now that he knew, he could tell. His brain processed the subtle differences in her posture, her facial expression, and her whole demeanor. Who the hell had he had sex with last night? Sam or this...creature who possessed her? His mind revolted at the thought of any intimate contact with the enemy—much less finding pleasure in its arms. How the fuck could he not have known? Even as he quickly assessed the current situation and Teal'c's advice, his mind raced back to the events that now haunted him.

 

_"Sam." He opened his door fully and watched in stunned silence as she entered his house. Closing the door, he stood back while she walked into his living room. She didn't say anything, just stood in the middle of the room. "This is a surprise," he finally said, wondering just what the hell was going on. This certainly wasn't something she'd ever done before, come to his home, by herself._

 

That was where he'd made his first mistake, not going with his gut. She looked back at him now, through the bars of the cell. Her face blank, unsmiling and unreadable. Her eyes were cold and hard...not like they had been.

 

_"I just wanted to explain, about what happened on the planet."_

_"Hey, no explanation necessary." He gestured towards the sofa and she sat down. Jack sat down on the opposite side and tried to hide his surprise when she scooted closer, bridging the gap between them._

_She placed a hand on his arm; her eyes were warm and inviting. "I got caught up in trying to save everyone, I wasn't thinking clearly."_

 

He had stopped thinking clearly the moment he felt her hand, soft and warm on his arm. Forcing his thoughts of the previous night out of his mind, Jack took Teal'c's advice and attacked. 

 

"So, you and I have got to have a little talk. You really screwed up here, you know. I mean, you really blew it."

 

Jack kept his face impassive while he waited for her response. Never mind that the same could be said for him. He had screwed up—big time.

 

_"All that death and destruction. All those people dying." Her voice was a soft murmur and he found himself holding his breath when she ran her hand down his arm and grasped his hand. Her touch arousing and doing not so unexpected things to his insides. Her fingers crept between his, lacing their fingers together, and she leaned closer. "I'm tired of death." And she moved even closer, her lips just barely touching his, her breath a warm wash against his cheek. "I don't want anymore death, Jack." She breathed out his name on a soft sigh and their lips met._

 

"You are weak."

 

He cringed internally at the distortion present in her voice. She hadn't sounded like that last night, it had been Sam's voice luring him into intimacy, Sam's voice speaking his name. Hell, he knew he'd been weak. And even worse, he didn't know if she was referring to him-singular, or humans- plural. If she was referring to him, then he had definitely been weak, but then, he'd always been weak where his feelings for Sam were concerned.

 

_"Sam," he muttered half-heartedly, sliding his lips reluctantly from hers. She tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him closer. Her other hand rose to the back of his neck, holding him in place while her mouth once more fastened hungrily on his._

 

"Who's behind bars right now?" He attacked again, hoping to knock the Goa'uld as off balance as he felt and regain control of the interview. Too bad he hadn't done the same thing last night.

 

_After the first, tentative touch, the kiss escalated out of control. She released his hand and pressed urgently against his chest and he let her push him down on the soft cushions. Her body was a warm and seductive weight against him, and when she squirmed delicately against him, he felt his arousal flare into full life. Sliding one hand to her lower back and the other to her head, Jack held her in place as their lips fused in white-hot passion._

 

"Your tactics will not work on me."

 

Shit. Was everything she said going to have two meanings? Her tactics—or his, Jack wasn't really sure he wanted to know the specifics. And he most definitely did not want to go there now. Suffice it, that last night her tactics had worked on him. 

 

_The next few minutes were a blur of groping hands and tangled arms as they tugged and pulled at each other's clothing. The sound of his zipper being lowered and the sure touch of her hand against his cloth covered erection momentarily brought him back to reality. Shit, they were about to have sex on his sofa! "Not here," he muttered hoarsely and sat up. Sam gave a surprised cry, then smiled seductively when he picked her up. Jack groaned when she looped her arms around his neck, pressing her now naked breasts against his equally naked chest._

 

"Not buying it, huh?"

 

"You must let me go."

 

Must let her go? It was too late, way too late. He should have let her go last night instead of carrying her to his bed.

 

_He dropped her carefully onto the bed, not even bothering to pull the covers down, before he was on top of her. Her hands fumbled at his waist and he shifted, helping her divest him of his slacks and boxers. Her jeans and panties came off next. Then it was hot flesh against flesh as he found his place between her slender thighs._

 

"Ah, no." Jack struggled to keep his thoughts on the crisis—and conversation—at hand.

 

"You really have no idea why this is happening."

 

He had no idea why any of this had happened. How Sam had gotten taken by a Goa'uld, how the SGC had been compromised, how she—no wait, it—had ended up in his bed.

 

_A part of him wanted to take things slow, but Sam wouldn't let him. Her cool hands tugged at his hips and she wrapped her legs loosely around him; shifting and sliding against him until he had no choice but to bury himself inside her willing body. He thrust heavily into her, unable to control himself as she responded with equal passion. He could already feel his orgasm starting and deliberately slowed down, determined to bring her with him as well and tugging her legs higher around him. They strained against each other for endless moments and just before he surrendered to his need, he heard her cry out his name in ecstasy. "Jack!"_

 

Sam had been gone when he woke in the morning. They hadn't needed words during the night and evidently she didn't feel any more inclined to talk to him now. It was finally sinking in; this wasn't Sam and hadn't been Sam since they'd returned from Naysia. She sat down on the bed, half hidden by the top bunk, her face in shadow. "And I guess you don't feel like telling me."

 

Teal'c had been right, he was going to have to put the Sam Carter he knew out of his mind.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jolinar watched the human from where she sat half hidden under the bunk. In trying to understand the enemy, she had seriously underestimated this O'Neill and her host's relationship with him. In trying to ensure his compliance and increase her chances for escape, she had made a grave miscalculation. She didn't acknowledge O'Neill's departure, but once he was gone, she allowed the fine edge of despair to wash over her. 

 

The Ashrak would find her, she had no doubt. And maybe that was for the best, she thought wearily. She was tired of running and hiding, and with each new blending she felt herself growing weaker. If she'd been thinking clearly, if she hadn't been so desperate, she never would have made the assumptions she had about O'Neill. But her host's feelings were so strong and so deeply laced with a bone deep belief that the 'Colonel' would do anything to protect her, help her, that she had been determined to use those feelings to her advantage. She would use any means at her disposal to survive.

 

She should have known though, should have realized that her host and O'Neill weren't lovers. But by the time she'd realized, it had been too late. Firmly pushing any remorse she felt at her actions out of her mind, Jolinar ignored the frightened and chaotic thoughts she could detect from her host. Nothing was more important right now than escaping this cell and the threat of the Ashrak. She was on her own. O'Neill now hated her and wouldn't help her—or her host.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_Samantha Carter felt like she was in some never ending nightmare. It had started on Naysia and grown progressively worse. Once the shock and terror of her violation had subsided, she had realized that the nightmare of becoming a Goa'uld had happened to her. And the symbiote was using her and adding to her horror with each and every word and action. She felt blessedly numb most of the time and detached from what her mouth was saying and her body doing. But...she was vividly aware of everything that happened to her and she wept._

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_"Oh god, he's telling the truth! Please, Jack! No, Jack, please don't leave me! Please give me a chance! Don't leave me like this! Please!"_

 

Her voice calling his name echoed through his brain. It had sounded like Sam, he would have sworn it was Sam, except he couldn't trust anything the snake said. Jack couldn't trust that it was telling the truth, that it had been Sam talking. And it was killing him a little bit more each time he remembered her calling his name, when she climaxed in his arms.

 

This last interview hadn't gone any better than the first. This Goa'ulds main objective appeared to be to escape and take Sam with him, her, or whatever. God, he was getting a headache just thinking about all the gender implications. What he did know was that he couldn't trust this snake; it had used him in the most intimate way possible. And he didn't think he could ever forgive that—or what was currently happening to Sam. What she was going through was just unthinkable! Jack rounded a corner and almost rain into an airman; his thoughts were in such chaos. He looked around and realized Sam's lab was just down the hall. He needed some place to think, and no better place than her empty lab.

 

Closing the door quietly behind him, Jack walked over to her worktable and turned on the small lamp. The table was neat and tidy, the computer screen winked into life from the movement. He ran his hand over the top of the monitor. How much information had the snake accessed before it was discovered? How much information had it accessed on Sam? He pulled her chair out and sank heavily into it. God...what had driven the Goa'uld to use Sam that way? To use him that way? What could it hope to achieve by using what should have been an expression of love between two people? That creature had perverted the affection he felt for Sam and god knows, whatever affection she felt for him.

 

Jack swiveled in her chair, picking up a pencil lying on her desk. He restlessly tapped the blotter with it. He'd never be able to help Sam if he couldn't get past his feelings of guilt and betrayal. At the time, simply being with Sam had been the fulfillment of fantasies and feelings of which he'd only been dimly aware. There was no way he could have refused her; he'd wanted her too long. Looking back now, he should have known she wouldn't come to him like that. He should have known and he should have been strong enough to push her away. But...he hadn't, and he'd have to live with how he'd treated his friend and 2IC. And he'd have to deal with it—because he was determined she would survive. They would beat the snake and find a way to get it out of Sam.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_"What will it take?"_

 

Jolinar had appealed to the Jaffa, even though it went against all her instincts. She had searched the mind of her host once more for insight into the people with whom she was being forced to deal. With O'Neill, she knew she had no chance. She had tried with Daniel Jackson, where perhaps her best chance lay. She didn't really know the location of Daniel Jackson's wife, but it was information she could easily obtain—if and when she was reunited with the rest of the Tok'ra.

 

The door to the holding cell burst open and Jolinar watched helplessly as the Ashrak shot both the guards. It was too late, too late for her and any of the humans to help her. The Ashrak was here and she would die alone on this god-forsaken planet.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sam screamed in pain, though no sound issued from her mouth. The Goa'uld was dying, she could tell. The pain was excruciating, she could feel her body weaken and dimly realized she had fallen to the floor. She was dying and an overwhelming sadness filled her. 

 

"She's dead, let's go."

 

Sam wasn't sure whom they were talking about. She didn't think she was dead yet. The voices were faint and she wasn't really sure if she was even conscious or not. The floor beneath her was hard and she was so cold...she can't feel her arms or legs, just the cold hard floor and the cold seeping into her very bones. But, she could still feel her heart beating, racing so fast that she could scarcely believe it could continue at that rate for much longer. And she somehow knew it wouldn't continue for much longer.....

 

"These two are dead."

 

One part of her recognized Teal'c's voice. So, they were finally here.

 

"Sam, Sam! Sam!"

 

It was the Colonel. She tried to open her mouth, to tell him she was sorry, so sorry for everything. Nothing happened...but, he was here, so it would be okay. It had to be okay. She felt his hand on her face; it felt so good, so warm.

 

"Teal'c! Get a medical team down here right away. Come on, Sam."

 

She tried again to talk, to open her eyes, to see him as herself one more time before she died. But god, it hurt so much and her eyes were so heavy and it was almost more than she could do to even take another breath. She heard more people rush into the room, urgent voices and hands tugging and pulling at her. And then there was no more pain, and even though the pain was gone she still felt so cold. It wasn't so bad now. It was almost peaceful and maybe dying wouldn't be so bad after all....

 

"She's got a pulse!"

 

"Faint, but stable."

 

The voices were closer now. And Sam realized that she was alone. Oh, she could hear the voices of the people around her, but—thank god—the voice in her head was gone. Opening her eyes, relief flooded through her when she realized she was in command of that simple movement. The light was too bright, hurting her eyes and everything was blurry.

 

"You did it, Sam. You won."

 

The Colonel. Sam tried to focus her eyes on him, but all she could see was a pale blur. She shook her head, trying to clear her vision, but that simple effort was almost more than she could manage. "It wasn't me." She finally managed to form the words to tell him. Why it was so important that she tell him that, she wasn't sure, but he needed to know...it wasn't her.

 

"Oh yes, it was. You hung in there, you beat it."

 

No, she thought tiredly, not sure if she could find the voice or the words. She hadn't beaten anything at all. She'd merely been a vessel, casually discarded when it was no longer useful. "No, the Goa'uld gave its life for me." Which was, perhaps, an equitable trade for the violation of her mind and body. But she couldn't deal with that now, later, maybe when she felt better and the memories had begun to fade....

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jack watched from the doorway with Fraiser and Daniel while Cassie talked to Sam. Sam hadn't really talked to any of them yet, about what had happened. Granted, it had only been forty-eight hours since the attack by the Ashrak and the snake's death. And so much had happened to her in the brief time that she'd been possessed, the least of which was the assault from the Ashrak. There was the assault on her mind, and let's not forget, he reminded himself in disgust, the assault he had made on her as well. Because, that's what it had been. No matter how he tried to spin it, he had raped her. Never mind that he'd thought it was Sam and even though 'she' had been willing, he damn well should have known something wasn't right. Just because it had seemed like a dream come true when she had come to his house and basically seduced him didn't mean he should have reciprocated. He'd wanted her and he'd let his dick make his decision instead of his brain.

 

He had been in on the discussion with Fraiser, Daniel and Teal'c. He knew that Sam would probably remember everything that had happened to her during the time the snake had been in her. She would remember threatening to blow up the Gateroom, threatening Cassie, almost dying and having sex with her commanding officer. As Jack watched Cassie talk with Sam, he could tell from the expressions on their faces that Sam had accepted the girl's forgiveness. He could only hope she would accept his as easily.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"I love you," Cassie whispered in her ear. Sam held the girl tightly for a moment longer and then released her. Rolling onto her side, away from the people standing in the door, Sam hoped to discourage anyone else from approaching her, she still felt too raw. She heard the soft murmuring from behind her, then the soft tap of Janet's heels and a heavier step. The footsteps stopped and then Janet's hand was a reassuring touch on her shoulder.

 

"I'm taking Cassie home now, Sam. I'll be back in the morning."

 

Sam moved her head just enough so that Janet would know she had heard.

 

"All right, then." The hand squeezed her shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning." Janet's footsteps walked away and Sam waited silently for the other person to leave. She heard the rustle of movement and then the mattress dipped as he sat down. She knew who it was, his sheer presence and familiar scent identifying him immediately. The Colonel...Jack. Her mind automatically cringed as she remembered, she had never called him by his first name until that night.

 

She should have been expecting it, but when he too, laid his hand on her shoulder she couldn't help the subtle flinch that ran through her. His hand almost burned her through the thin cotton of the hospital gown and tightened momentarily before relaxing. She heard him expel a deep breath.

 

"Sam," his tone was soft and caring, "we'll get through this together." His voice dropped to a mere whisper, "Both of us."

 

She didn't say anything, she couldn't say anything, tears were starting to choke her. But she knew he wouldn't leave until she gave him some acknowledgement. She nodded her head and his hand squeezed her shoulder again. "That's my girl," he murmured, low enough for her to hear, but not the cameras. The mattress shifted again when he stood and his footsteps echoed out of the room. 

 

Sam curled up into a tight ball on the bed. How could he touch her? How could he bear to be near her after what had happened? She did choke back a sob then. She had been in love with the Colonel for what seemed like forever, but she had been determined to put any 'inappropriate' feelings out of her mind. And besides, she'd never had any indication from him that he had any feelings for her beyond that of a friend and colleague. Until that night.... In spite of what had happened on Argos, she knew the Colonel wasn't a man to take a relationship lightly. She shivered and pulled the thin blanket up to her chin as she remembered. He hadn't turned her away that night; he'd invited her in....

 

_"Sam." Through the terror and confusion clouding her mind, Sam recognized his voice. Relief flooded through her. She opened her eyes and saw him and his confusion. They were alone at his house. Following commands she no longer gave, her body walked gracefully into his living room. "This is a surprise."_

 

Words came out of her mouth, it sounded like her. It even sounded like something she might have said, wanting to explain her actions, so he would understand and not think badly of her. And then she had touched him and everything changed.

 

_Her flesh tingled and she felt the thrill all the way up her arm when her hand entwined with his. Her slim, pale hand holding tightly to his much larger callused one. Stunned by the unexpected sensations, she lost track of the words coming out of her mouth when she suddenly realized what was happening. When the Goa'uld moved in closer to the Colonel, the intent obvious as their lips just touched. And then it said his name._

 

Sam had longed for, dreamed of, and cherished the thought of the first time she would use his given name. When she would break through protocol and rank and have the privilege of calling him Jack. And she had been cheated. Oh god, she whimpered in despair, she had been more than cheated!

 

_"Sam." His voice was low and hoarse and she had longed to hear him say it in just that way. But not like this, not when it wasn't her. She tried to fight the snake, to stop her hands and arms from pulling him closer. But the Goa'uld was too strong. Her mouth opened on his and she was overwhelmed by all the sensations flooding through her. His tongue was deep in her mouth, his hands on her body and she felt helpless against the onslaught. She heard a soft cry issue from her lips and the Colonel muttered, "Not here." Oh god, she felt the cool air on her naked breasts, her nipples puckering. It was going to happen, he was going to take her._

 

She had tried; she had really tried to close herself off from what was happening to her body. She didn't think she could bear to have him think he was making love to her when it was really some Goa'uld. Oh god, he despised the Goa'uld just as much as she did, maybe even more. And if she survived this, what would he think of her? How could she ever hope that he might love her after this?

 

Oh god, she was naked and he was naked, his heavy weight pressing her into the mattress. His mouth was hot on hers again and her arms tugged him closer, her legs locking around his hips. One part of her dimly realized what the Goa'uld was trying to accomplish in seducing the Colonel. It was trying to ensure his help and cooperation by using sex to bind their relationship. She almost wept at the irony; her captor was very much mistaken if it thought this encounter would make the Colonel lenient. It would find out soon enough that it had made a terrible mistake. But right now, it was too late. Too late for both of them as he thrust heavily into her, her body shuddering under each impact of his hips. He was skillful and determined and she felt the humiliation of utter defeat and betrayal wash through her as her body responded gladly to his touch. She climaxed in his arms, "Jack!" The impassioned cry torn from lips that were not her own, as her body surrendered to the inevitable.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Daniel set the receiver back down in the cradle and stared reflectively at the phone. He'd just finished talking to Sam. Ever since Fraiser had released her, he'd taken to checking up on her at least once during the day. And stopping by her house each night. Each day, he thought, she seemed a little better. Though there was still such a deep sadness in her eyes. He knew she was having sessions with Mackenzie, but Daniel had the feeling that his informal talks with his friend did her more good than an hour twice a week with the psychiatrist. He and Sam would just talk. She had told him some of her memories from while she had been possessed by the Goa'uld. How scared she'd been, the initial confusion, how she had been helpless to exert any of her own will—totally controlled by Jolinar. And how she remembered everything that had happened during the time Jolinar was in her, but could remember nothing about Jolinar. 

 

Daniel had theorized, and Sam mostly agreed, that Jolinar had been an experienced and powerful symbiote and had been able to take control swiftly and totally. Sam would have been helpless against one so powerful, and he'd tried to convince her of that, but he knew she felt like she should have been able to fight it. He could also tell she was still worried about the things Jolinar had said and done. And they had talked about that and his refusal to help. But, there was more, he could tell...he just couldn't quite work out what.

 

"Daniel."

 

Daniel looked up as O'Neill strolled into his office. "Hey, Jack." He really hadn't seen much of Jack the last few days and was rather surprised by his haggard appearance. He looked just about as bad as Sam did.

 

"Whatcha' doing?" Jack asked, leaning casually against the desk. 

 

Daniel could tell right away that the casual attitude was an act. Jack O'Neill never stopped by his office for small talk. Acting on a hunch, Daniel spoke, "Ah, just finished talking to Sam, actually." He kept his attitude equally casual and if he hadn't been looking right at Jack, Daniel would have missed the look that flashed across O'Neill's face. Guilt...a brief instance of shame and then total indifference.

 

"Yeah, how's she doing?" 

 

Jack spoke as if he really didn't care one way or the other about Sam, and while somewhat surprised, Daniel wasn't about to be fooled by his apparent indifference. "You haven't been to see her?"

 

The guilt reappeared briefly. "Ah, no, Daniel...I don't think she wants to see me."

 

Okay, Daniel was confused now. This was definitely not the same man who had been so concerned about Sam while she was in the infirmary. Daniel opened his mouth to speak when Jack suddenly continued. "She came to see me, you know."

 

"Ah...Sam?"

 

"No, Jolinar."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah, you know, that night after we first got back from Naysia? Before we knew she was a Goa'uld?"

 

"What did she want?"

 

Jack got a distinctly uncomfortable look. "She made a pass at me," he muttered and started pacing the small room.

 

"Oh." Totally surprised, Daniel couldn't think of what else to say.

 

Jack paused and lowered his head, seeming intent on studying the pencil he'd picked up off the desk. "It got out of hand pretty fast." He turned his head towards Daniel, his expression grim. "If you know what I mean."

 

"Ah...." Daniel suddenly understood and knew his eyes widened. He snapped his jaw shut before his mouth could fall open any further. This explained so much. "So, you and Sam?" He let his voice trail off and waited for Jack to answer.

 

Jack sat down on the chair next to the desk and sighed heavily. "Well, that's really the problem now, isn't it, Daniel? It wasn't Sam and me. It was me and some damn Goa'uld."

 

Daniel recognized the pain and confusion in Jack's voice; it matched what he heard in Sam's. God, no wonder Sam continued to look so sad and Jack looked so haggard. The two of them were a mess. Daniel took off his glasses and put on a show of cleaning the lenses, giving himself a few moments to organize his thoughts. When he spoke, it was very carefully. "Jack, you know she remembers what happened to her when Jolinar was in her?"

 

Jack was studying the pencil again. "Yeah, I heard that."

 

"You need to go talk to her, Jack."

 

"I'm not sure this is something we can talk about." Jack's eyes were full of pain when he looked at Daniel. "I don't know what to say to her, Daniel."

 

"She's hurting, Jack." And Daniel knew better than to add, 'and so are you'. "Just go to her." O'Neill stood back up then and Daniel watched him, his eyes full of sympathy as the other man nodded and left. It was obvious to him that neither Sam nor Jack could start to heal if they wouldn't talk about what had happened. And if they couldn't sort their personal relationship out, Daniel knew it would eventually affect their team relationship.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sam sat huddled under a blanket on her sofa trying to shake off the nightmare that had woken her from a restless nap. Jolinar's words to Cassie echoed in her mind. "Do not tell anyone what you know or I will kill you." Sam shuddered and hugged her knees tighter. The memory of the terrified look on Cassie's face haunted her. She would never do anything to hurt Cassie and it filled her with revulsion that she had been used to make that threat. God, she had been used in so many ways.... 

 

The doorbell rang and Sam was almost glad for the interruption, except for the fact that it meant she'd have to talk to someone. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, just after 1900. It was probably Daniel and had she really slept for almost three hours? No wonder she couldn't sleep at night! The doorbell rang again and she threw the blanket aside and reluctantly got to her feet. Shuffling into her slippers, she walked down the hallway. The doorbell sounded again. "I'm coming, Daniel!" she called out, somewhat annoyed and pulled the front door open. "Oh." She stood in the open door in stunned silence at the sight of the Colonel on her porch.

 

His face was partly in shadow, the hall light only dimly illuminating the area around the door. "May I come in?" he finally asked.

 

His low voice knocked her out of her stupor and she felt her heart start to race and her cheeks flush. "Yes, I'm sorry." Sam backed away from the door feeling incredibly flustered. "Please, come in."

 

He stepped into the small foyer and paused, waiting for her. Even though she had dreaded seeing him, she was hungry for the sight of him. He was dressed casually in loose fitting khakis, black sweatshirt and leather jacket. He looked so good. Her gaze traveled back up to his face and she saw him clearly for the first time, and what she saw shocked her. He looked like he'd been getting less sleep than she had. He was pale under his tan, his eyes were shadowed and his cheeks hollowed, as if he'd lost weight as well. She finally met his eyes, but quickly looked away, the intensity and deep emotion in their dark brown depths frightening her. Unnerved by what she saw in his eyes, she quickly brushed past him and headed back to the living room. Jack followed her and she sat back down on the sofa, pulling the blanket protectively around her.

 

Jack shrugged out of his jacket and Sam watched apprehensively as he sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. She had wanted to see him, needed to see him. But now that he was actually here, she was terrified. Terrified that he would tell her she could no longer be a member of SG-1, terrified that he would hate her, terrified that he could never want her.... "Sir," she finally managed to mumble and cringed at the frown that crossed his face.

 

"Jack was good enough for you the last time we were together."

 

She could literally feel what little color she had in her face drain out with his seemingly careless words. She briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, afraid that when she opened her mouth, nothing would come out. "That wasn't me," she managed to whisper.

 

To her utter amazement, his eyes softened and he leaned towards her, taking hold of one of her hands. The warmth from his large hand traveled through her chilled fingers and up her arm. "I know, Sam." His voice was low and almost tender and she felt some of the fear inside her start to fade. "I know now that it wasn't you."

 

She gazed steadily at him, her heart starting to race again. That was part of the problem, wasn't it? He only knew now that it hadn't been her. She pulled her hand free and clasped them together around her knees and blurted out, suddenly compelled to explain, to make him understand. "This is all my fault."

 

"How do you figure that?" He sat back, his gaze intense. 

 

"I shouldn't have tried to save that Naysian man." She dropped her head onto her knees. "I didn't listen to you." Even now O'Neill's words echoed through her mind, "We cannot wait." And the Goa'uld? "I wasn't strong enough," she choked out on a sob. "I should have been able to fight it." She hadn't cried once since Jolinar had died. She hadn't cried when Cassie had come to see her. And she really did not want to cry in front of the Colonel. But, it didn't seem like she was going to have that option as a huge sob wracked her body. She hadn't thought she could possibly be any more humiliated, but losing control this way in front of him only intensified her disgrace.

 

"Sam." She felt the cushions shift and his hand on her shoulder

 

Turning her head away, she tried to control her tears. "No, please...just go away," she whispered, pulling away from him.

 

His arms were suddenly around her, pulling her close. She struggled briefly, but he was too strong and held her securely. "Don't fight me, Sam," he rumbled, easily subduing her feeble protests. He pulled her across his lap and held her tightly against his chest, one hand cradling her head. "It's okay, baby. Go ahead and let it out."

 

And she finally did let all her grief pour out. She cried until her throat was raw and she didn't see how she could have any more tears left. All the while, held securely in the Colonel's arms. When her tears had slowed down to a few isolated sobs and shudders, she felt a tissue stuffed into her hands. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose and then lay back in his arms, exhausted. 

 

Jack didn't say anything and Sam just let her thoughts float. She slowly realized she felt safer now than she had in ages. His arms were tight around her, one hand casually stroking her hair. His chest rose and fell steadily and she moved the arm that wasn't trapped against him and placed it over his chest. His heart beat reassuringly under her hand. His voice rumbled low, next to her ear. "Better?"

 

She tilted her head back and looked at him, again almost overwhelmed by the tenderness in his deep brown eyes. There was something else there as well though, a certain wariness that bewildered her. But she answered him, her voice still weak from her tears. "Yes, I think so." She laughed raggedly and his arms tightened around her when she added, "Can't get any worse."

 

Sam shifted a bit, getting into a more comfortable position on his lap. Jack loosened his arms a bit and tugged the blanket around both of them. She lay back with her head against his shoulder and started talking. He had broken through her defenses with his tender strength and concern and she was too weak to fight him anymore. "I really didn’t know what had happened at first. It all seemed like a very elaborate and detailed dream. It wasn't until we were back on base that I realized it wasn't a dream and that I wasn't in control of my body. I was doing things and saying things that weren't coming from my brain." She shivered and Jack's arms tightened and he murmured something too low for her to hear. "Every now and then I'd feel the symbiote searching my thoughts, but the pain was so intense I couldn't ever sense anything from it. And if I tried to read its thoughts, it just blocked me and punished me with more pain."

 

"God, Sam...it must have been terrifying."

 

"I wanted to tell you, to somehow communicate with you, but I couldn't." Jack made a rough sound and Sam wrapped her arms around him, pressing tightly against him. "I wasn't afraid for myself, I was afraid of what the Goa'uld might force me to do to the people I care about."

 

"Sam...." She could hear the pain and guilt in his voice and felt the subtle tightening of his muscles that had nothing to do with their current closeness. 

 

"It wasn't your fault," she reassured him quickly. "You had no way of knowing it wasn't me." Sam had barely finished speaking when Jack suddenly moved. She let out a startled cry when he shifted her off his lap and back onto the sofa. He stood and walked to the opposite side of the room, his movement's jerky. Sam watched in growing bewilderment as he stood with his back to her and ran his hand agitatedly through his hair. 

 

"God, Sam!" He turned and she saw his face. She drew her breath in shock at the look of pain on his features. "I all but rape you and you're telling me it's not my fault?"

 

"Jack...."

 

"Sam, stop," he interrupted, his hands clenched into fists at his side, his eyes wild. "Don’t use my name unless you really mean it."

 

The sick feeling of dread that had been starting to lessen roared back into life. Would what happened between them be an insurmountable obstacle? Would he be able to forgive her and, she realized with sudden insight, forgive himself? She looked at the man standing in her living room poised for fight or flight. The man that she loved. And she did love him, she acknowledged, and she was going to have to fight for that love. God, she was so tired of being a victim of Jolinar. It was time she took back control of her life.

 

Sam tossed the blanket aside and stood up, walking slowly towards Jack, her eyes never leaving his. Somehow finding the courage, she stopped right in front of him, searching his tense face. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make you understand how I feel, knowing that that Goa'uld took my feelings for you and used them towards its own end." She shook her head, her eyes sad. "I'm still not even sure what it hoped to gain."

 

"The better you understand the enemy, the better prepared you are in conflict." Jack whispered softly, quoting Jolinar.

 

"Maybe," she murmured. "I could never hold you responsible for what happened that night. Jolinar instigated it all." Though he still looked like he didn't believe her, she thought she could detect a small flare of hope in his eyes. Sam took a deep breath and knew she had to see this through to its inevitable conclusion. "I love you, Jack. And it grieves me more than you'll ever know that our first time together was a perversion of the love I feel for you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She loved him. Out of everything she could have said, he never expected to hear that. Wondered maybe, hoped perhaps, but always mindful of the consequences of any acknowledged feelings between them. But right now, he really didn't give a damn about consequences. She could have died, should have died and in spite of his actions while she was possessed by that...thing, she loved him. Her face was hopeful as she looked at him. Her eyes still slightly reddened, her nose pink and her complexion still too pale, but she was here with him and she was alive. Not used to having his feelings so close to the surface, Jack was baffled at the depth of emotion he felt and the one driving conviction that surfaced above all the rest. He needed to heal her—and it went deeper than that, they needed to heal each other. 

 

Jack pulled her into his arms. "Oh god, Sam," he groaned, burying his face in her hair. "How can you love me?" She clung tightly to him and his arms tightened convulsively around her as he continued, "I can scarcely forgive myself." He gave a harsh laugh. "I'd wanted you for so long that when you actually came to me, I didn't question it. I just took what was offered." His large frame shuddered and her arms tightened around him, her hands stroking his back.

 

"It used both of us, Jack." He reluctantly loosened his arms when she pulled back slightly. He could once more see the sheen of tears in her luminous blue eyes. "We can beat this together."

 

He wanted to crush her to him and take her mouth in a ravenous kiss. But, he didn't want to scare her, so he contented himself with brushing her lips lightly with his. She tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled away and tucked her head back against his shoulder. She murmured something, which could have been a small protest, but settled back into his arms. For right now, it was enough to just hold her. He lightly nuzzled her hair and then took a quickly in-drawn breath when he felt her warm hand slide under his sweatshirt and caress the small of his back. When her other hand joined in the caress, he murmured, "Sam." Bringing his hands to her shoulders, he gently pushed her away.

 

"What?" she complained, her hands resting lightly at his waist, her eyes slightly unfocused and hazy with what could only be the beginnings of desire.

 

"I don't think...." 

 

The words were barely out of his mouth when a horrified look suddenly flashed across her face. She pulled quickly out of his arms. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She backed away from him, almost falling over the coffee table in her haste.

 

"Sam?" Confused, he took a step towards her but she kept on backing away. "What is it?"

 

"I'm sorry." Her voice trembled and she seemed to be dissembling right in front of him. Her eyes were once more shadowed and she sounded on the verge of tears. "I forgot for a minute."

 

Forgot? Forgot what? That they were military and not supposed to be together? That certainly wasn't an insurmountable problem. "Sam, if you're worried about Hammond..."

 

"No, no..." 

 

Jack watched in amazement. She was wringing her hands; Sam Carter never wrung her hands! "Hey, it's okay." He took a cautious step towards her, holding his hands out in supplication. "We're in this together. Tell me what you forgot."

 

"I forgot..." she took a deep breath and Jack could see her struggle to compose herself. "When I kissed you, touched you," she lowered her eyes. "Well, I can understand why you wouldn't want me to touch you."

 

He still didn't understand. "Not want to touch you?"

 

Her eyes were bleak when she finally looked at him. "After everything that's happened, after how Jolinar seduced you, I don't blame you for not wanting me." Her voice trailed off to a whisper with her confession.

 

Not want her? He wanted her with every breath he took! How could she not know that? Easy, you idiot, he chided himself, you've never told her and the one time you showed her, well, hell...it wasn't really her, now was it? Instinctively knowing his entire future rested on his next words and actions, Jack took the last few steps that would bring him to her. "I hate that Goa'uld and I despise that it used you that way." He reached out with one hand and gently tilted her chin up. "But I could never despise you." He watched her face carefully when he spoke next, his eyes searching hers. "And as for wanting you?" He gave her a helpless smile. "I've never stopped wanting you. I just didn't want to push you into something like that so soon after everything else."

 

To his great relief, her beautiful blue eyes softened and her luscious mouth curved into a slight smile. Emboldened by her reaction, Jack stepped closer and delicately traced her cheek with his fingers. She moved in closer to him as well, until their bodies were almost touching. "I need you, Jack." Her voice was a mere whisper and he could see the faintest tint of the earlier despair shadowing her eyes. "I need you to make love to me."

 

The surge of primitive arousal that flashed through him with her softly voiced plea nearly brought him to his knees. He was barely aware of the primal growl that issued from deep in his chest as swept her up into his arms. "Bedroom?" he rumbled. One of the slim arms that had tightened around his neck loosened and pointed back up in the general direction of the front of the house. He nodded and held her close as he maneuvered them through the doorway and down the hall. She was going to destroy him; her hand teasing the hair at his nape and the soft, wet kisses she pressed against his throat merely served to fuel his already raging arousal.

 

Sharp teeth nipped at his ear lobe and she whispered, "The last door."

 

He grunted and continued down the hallway, shouldering his way through the door and into her bedroom. The room was dim, but he found the bed easily enough and gently laid her down. He pulled back out of her grasp, ignoring her small moan of protest as he fumbled with the bedside lamp. The soft glow of the light suddenly filled the room and Jack looked down at his lover. In the soft light, the stresses of the past few weeks all but disappeared from her face. She looked younger and happier. He knew part of it was an illusion, however some of it was also certainly due to their current situation. Her eyes were sparkling instead of dull and lifeless and her cheeks were flushed with a rosy glow.

 

"You are so beautiful," he told her, reaching out to tenderly caress her cheek, before bending down to kick off his shoes and pull off his socks. He looked up briefly from his task; "Nothing will ever change that." Her face literally glowed with his heartfelt words. Making short work of his task, Jack sat down on the side of the bed, facing her. He reached out and delicately traced her full lips, trailing his fingers lightly down her throat to the neckline of her sweatshirt.

 

"Are you sure about this, Sam?" He wanted her desperately, but didn't want to force her—the way it had been the first time.

 

Her lips curved into a slow smile and she grasped his wrist and turned her head, kissing his palm. "I've never been more sure of anything."

 

His eyes flashed with hot desire and he felt the blood pounding through his veins. Tugging his hand free, Jack quickly stripped his sweatshirt off and unfastened his khakis, tugging them off without leaving Sam's side. He smiled down at her, his eyes narrowing slightly as he grasped the hem of her sweatshirt, tugging at it gently. Sam lifted up, helping him as he pulled the pale blue garment over her head. She pulled her arms free and he flung the sweatshirt aside.

 

His face filled with wonder as he gazed down at her. She wasn't wearing a bra; her beautiful breasts were creamy white, her nipples a delicate shade of pink. As he stared, he saw a soft blush begin to form and one of her arms moved towards her chest in a protective gesture. "No," he murmured gently, grasping her wrist and stopping the movement. "Let me look at you." She murmured something low, but relaxed for him. He glanced briefly up at her face. "Everything happened so fast the last time..." Her smiled seemed to falter and he quickly leant down and kissed her. "It's okay," he whispered against her lips before sliding his mouth in a trail of wet kisses along her jaw. He pulled delicately at her ear lobe with his teeth. "This will be our first time."

 

Sam gave a breathless sob and one soft hand traveled urgently up his arm to cradle the back of his head. He let her guide his mouth back to hers and their lips met in a tender kiss. Her other hand fastened on his shoulder, tugging him closer and Jack lay down, covering her torso with his. He groaned as he eased his chest down on her, she felt so good! Her soft breasts pressing into his chest, her slim arms wrapping around his neck. He took her mouth then, in a slow, deep kiss; taking his time to fully explore her lips with his mouth, his teeth, his tongue. She whimpered and Jack smiled briefly against her lips before deepening the kiss. 

 

Sweeping his tongue into her mouth, Jack probed all the hidden recesses he only had vague memories of from that first frantic mating. This time they were going to make love and Sam was going to be more than just a prisoner in her own body. Sliding an arm under her shoulders, Jack lifted her slightly, rubbing his hair-roughened chest against her breasts. He could feel her nipples pebbling and knew that it wouldn't be too long before he'd have to taste them. Lifting up slightly, Jack eased his other hand between their bodies and began gently kneading the closest breast, rubbing his thumb over the tiny nub of her nipple. Sam gasped and drew her mouth away, panting softly. Pleased with her response, Jack merely smiled against her throat and began trailing open-mouthed, wet kisses down her throat. Stopping to nibble and occasionally suck, Jack worked his way slowly across her collarbone.

 

He raised up on one elbow and she opened her eyes. "Jack," she protested, her voice breathless, her hands clutching at his shoulders and tugging slightly. Thank god, her eyes had finally lost that haunted look and were filled instead with desire. His mouth curved in a lazy smile and shifting a bit further down on the bed, he lowered his head to her breast.

 

She tasted so sweet and so new, Jack wondered if he'd even bothered to feast at her breasts previously. Sucking the now tightly puckered nipple deep into his hot mouth, he relished the breathless moans he could hear issuing from Sam's lips. He suckled leisurely, until Sam was moving restlessly beneath him, her hands clenching and unclenching in his hair as she held him to her breast. Releasing her captive nipple with a gentle bite, Jack transferred his attentions to its mate, treating that tender bud to the same exquisite torture. 

 

After long moments that had Sam gasping helplessly, Jack gradually worked his way down to her quivering belly, planting wet kisses on her soft flesh, ticking her belly button with his tongue. Reaching the barrier of her sweatpants, Jack slid one large hand under the waistband and cupped her hot flesh through her already damp panties. Sam moaned sharply and arched her hips towards him. "Easy," he murmured soothingly, pressing his hand more firmly against her. He could scarcely believe how responsive she was to him, given the circumstances of their initial encounter. He wasn't sure what he would have done if she'd been unable to bear his touch!

 

Drawing his hand slowly out of her pants, Jack ignored her small whimper of protest that rapidly changed to a sigh of approval when he hooked his fingers in the waistband and pulled her sweats and panties off. She raised her long legs to help him, and he flung the garments to the floor and she finally lay naked before him. 

 

With every inch of uncovered skin, he was reminded once again of just how beautiful she was—and he was humbled all over again that she still wanted him. He ran one hand in a lingering caress along the pale thigh closest to him. Moving to kneel at the foot of the bed, he slid his hands teasingly from ankle to knee, gently urging her legs apart. She tensed only momentarily, but then she relaxed with a sigh and spread her knees and raising them slightly.

 

Jack knelt between her spread legs, tracing his fingers delicately up her inner thighs. Reaching the juncture of her legs, he heard her breath catch and then release on a tremulous sigh when he gently combed through her blond curls, seeking out her hidden flesh. She was hot and wet and her soft pink folds beckoned to him. Lying between her legs, Jack greedily drank in the heady scent of her arousal. He squirmed a bit; adjusting his own highly aroused flesh, so he could concentrate on Sam. Draping her thighs over his shoulders, he delicately traced through her swollen folds, expertly locating her clitoris. Blowing a gentle breath across her hot flesh Jack brought his mouth down to her and nuzzling through her soft curls he fastened his hungry mouth on her clitoris.

 

Sam cried out softly and her hips jerked at his first touch; Jack stilled her movements with a heavy arm across her lower abdomen. He heard her ragged sigh of surrender and then the soft touch of a trembling hand on his head. Satisfied, he concentrated on bringing Sam to the ultimate in pleasure. Running his tongue in long strokes alongside her swollen button before isolating it with his lips and sucking strongly, Jack applied himself diligently to ensuring Sam's pleasure. He sucked and licked her sensitive bud relentlessly. In spite of his efforts to hold her hips still, she was soon moving them in a steady rhythm against his mouth, the movements punctuated by her soft cries of pleasure. 

 

"Jack, please...." she whimpered and her hand tightened suddenly in his hair, telling Jack that she was close. Bringing his free hand back to her core, Jack probed gently and pressed a long finger deep into her snug channel. Sam cried out sharply and Jack deftly inserted a second finger and began stroking her slick channel. Sam didn't stand a chance under the dual assault and within minutes her cries of ecstasy filled the room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sam thought hazily she must have died and gone to heaven, no one could feel such intense pleasure and survive! Gasping for breath, she tugged futilely at Jack's hair, but he wouldn't release her. "Jack," she moaned her lover's name in surrender and lay limp beneath him, boneless in the aftermath of her orgasm. She whimpered when he slowly withdrew his fingers in a lingering caress and she sighed when she felt his lips against her in a last, lingering kiss. He crawled up her body then, his heavy weight pressing her into the mattress. 

 

Sam slowly opened her eyes. Her lover hovered over her, his eyes dark with passion. He licked his lips and Sam smiled, bringing a hand to his nape and pulling his head down for a deeply erotic kiss. She moaned, opening her mouth to his tongue and she didn't think she'd ever experienced anything so openly erotic as tasting herself on her lover's lips. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she rubbed herself against him, only to groan in frustration when she realized he was still covered by a soft layer of cotton. Dragging her mouth away from his, she slid her arms down his ribs and started tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

 

His eyes sparkled down at her as he murmured, "Is there a problem?'"

 

She growled in frustration and he laughed, brushing her hands aside and efficiently stripping off his boxers. Sam moaned in relief when he finally settled back between her legs, his hair roughened legs rubbing erotically against the soft skin of her inner thighs. "Not any more," she whispered, her gaze drawn helplessly down the length of their bodies, to where he lay against her. Her mouth went suddenly dry at the sight of his impressive length brushing against her belly. This was really happening, she was going to take him into herself, allow him access to her body in the most intimate way possible. Of course, he already possessed her heart and soul, possessing her body was inevitable. She faltered for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut in pain when she remembered that he had already possessed her body.

 

"Sam." His low voice broke through her dark thoughts and her eyes flew back to his face. "If I could change what happened, I would." She gazed intently at Jack, amazed at his perception. His expression was somber and just the smallest bit uncertain. "But, I can't. We can only go on from here."

 

He sounded so confident, so sure, that she found herself gaining strength from him. Her heart expanded and filled with love for him, this man whom--while he might not love her--offered salvation from the nightmare of the past weeks...and perhaps, hope for the future. 

 

"Jack," she breathed his name on a soft sigh and reached down between their bodies, grasping his penis in a firm, yet gentle touch. His low moan brought a tight smile to her lips and Sam squeezed gently, caressing him even as she guided him to her. She angled her pelvis and felt him moving over her, the blunt head probing firmly at her tender opening, seeking entrance. Her body tensed as unbidden visions of the last time flashed through her mind and she abruptly released him, gasping for breath and clutching frantically at his shoulders.

 

"Sam, look at me, love." Jack's commanding voice pulled her back and she opened her eyes and focussed on him. Once her eyes met his, he started moving his hips, penetrating her slowly. Oh god, it was almost more than she could bear! Her lashes fluttered shut, her knuckles turned white as she held tightly to his shoulders and she knew he'd have bruises, but she couldn't let go! She panted softly, and he continued his steady movement, his broad shaft broaching her tender passage, stretching and filling her beyond any previous experience. She sobbed his name, it was too much, she couldn't stand it!

 

"Sam, it's okay baby, it's okay." His soothing voice flowed over her and her eyes flew open. When had she closed them? The strain of holding back was evident on Jack's face, but he held back for her, she realized. This was all for her. His restraint gave her the courage to continue and with a soft sigh she relaxed and he thrust deep, taking her fully. Oh god, he was touching her womb...he was in her deeper than she had thought was possible! He wrapped his arms around her; his heavy weight pressed her into the mattress and began moving powerfully into her.

 

"Jack!" she cried his name, starting to panic all over again, her body tensing with each thrust. She felt overwhelmed and overpowered by his movements, the panicked feeling returning and rising out of control. She pushed frantically at his shoulders, trying to escape the overwhelming sensations. It was too much like the last time...the first time...god, she didn't know anymore! "Jack!" she pleaded, desperation tingeing her voice now as she pushed ineffectually at his shoulders.

 

He finally stopped and Sam felt relief soar through her as he raised up on his elbows. His pupils were dilated, his eyes almost black with passion, but dawning awareness was in them. She gave a startled cry when he wrapped his arms around her and rolled onto his back. Disoriented, she sat up, straddling him and bracing her hands on his chest, moaning as the movement forced him deeper into her. 

 

"Better?" He rumbled, his voice low and strained.

 

She stared down at him. He returned her gaze steadily and she was once more stunned by his restraint. His chest was heaving, his hands clenching and unclenching on her thighs, his eyes still wild with need, yet he held himself still...for her. Just for her. If she hadn't already loved him, this one seemingly small gesture of understanding would have ensured her devotion forever. Sam moved experimentally, rotating her hips in a small circle. Jack groaned, his hands tightening on her thighs and she whimpered with renewed pleasure. Yes...it was better. Not better that she was in control, though that helped. What was better was their connection, which seemed to intensify with each minute that passed.

 

Sam started moving slowly; and now that she was able to relax she could enjoy being with him. Enjoy being joined with him...when it was her choice and his choice. Rocking against him, the ancient rhythm soon beckoned her onwards and drove all thought but that of the ultimate release from her brain. Jack moved easily with her, but always following her lead. And it was so different than the last time, when she had been helpless. This time, she shared. Sam shifted, rocking harder against him. She could feel the first stirrings of her climax, low in her belly, she was so close! Jack's right hand trailed down across her abdomen and Sam sobbed with relief when she felt his deft touch on her still throbbing clitoris, helping her. He stroked her and she ground herself against his hand, sagging down onto his chest as ecstasy once more curled low in her abdomen and spread relentlessly throughout her body. 

 

"Oh, god, Jack!" she cried, her internal muscles contracting insistently around his engorged penis as her climax roared through her. Collapsing on him, she buried her face in the hollow of his throat and allowed him to guide her movements as he thrust up sharply with his hips. His presence deep inside her serving to intensify her release and she sobbed with helpless pleasure, safe in her lover's arms.

 

************************

 

"Sam." Jack ran his hands soothingly down her back and hoping to hell that he wouldn't frighten her again, he held her tightly and rolled so that she was once more beneath him. Suppressed need was riding him hard, demanding release, and he didn't want to alarm her, but he needed more.... Sam's eyes fluttered open and she sighed his name. Good, she didn't look scared...in fact, quite the opposite. The obvious contentment shining in her luminous blue eyes and present in her voice filled him with immense satisfaction and a purely masculine pride. He had no doubt that she knew it was him who had brought her such pleasure, just as he knew he would find the same ecstasy in her arms and body. 

 

"What are you waiting for?" Her soft question brought a strained smile to his face.

 

"For you," he murmured, sliding his arms under her back and cupping her shoulders, pressing his hips more firmly against her. 

 

Her hands ran in a sweeping caress down his sides to his hips and she angled her pelvis, luring him even deeper. Wrapping her legs securely around his hips, she raised her head up and kissed him. "I'm here," she whispered against his lips.

 

Jack shuddered at the look of complete love and acceptance in her eyes. Unexpectedly overcome with emotion, he buried his face in her throat. Thank god she was here! And in his arms... A growl rumbled from low in his chest and Jack let loose his control and started moving, driving powerfully into his lover's sated body. It wasn't enough and Jack raised his head, keeping his eyes focussed on Sam's face. Her lips curved into a languid smile, then formed a soft 'oh' as he thrust deep. This was what he needed, to see her face, to look into her eyes and know it was really Sam who took him so deeply, accepted him so fully.

 

He thrust powerfully, denied need riding him hard as he pounded into her. And this time, she took him gladly, encouraging him with soft words, her eyes conveying nothing but need, acceptance and love... Oh god, it was starting, he could feel the tightening in his gut and tingling up his spine, that signaled his approaching orgasm. It was too soon! He never wanted this moment to end, even as he continued to thrust, helplessly impelled to find release in his lover's arms.

 

"Sam!" He gasped her name, groaning as his orgasm started, pouring through his body and into hers. He thrust deep, grinding his hips against her, his seed flooding her as he spent himself endlessly in her willing depths.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jack groaned, sinking deeper into the warm embrace of the woman beneath him. He hadn't felt this good, well...in a long time. Brief memories of his previous encounter with Sam passed through his mind, but he easily dismissed them. Whatever had transpired that night was a mere shadow of the passion he'd just shared with his lover.

 

"Thank you." Her voice was a soft whisper in his ear.

 

He shuddered and tightened his arms around her. God, that she would thank him did something to his insides that he didn't even want to think about. Raising his head, he searched her face for some clue as to what she really felt. "It was good?" He grimaced, shit; he sounded like some stereotypical male chauvinist. Her eyes continued to sparkle up at him and he frowned, "That didn't come out right...."

 

Her lips curved into what he recognized as her indulgent smile. "I know what you meant. And yeah...it was good." She sighed and he felt some of the tightness in his gut fade. She slid a delicate hand from his shoulder to his face, her fingers running lightly across his lips. He captured her hand in a quick movement and kissed her palm. "I'm sorry." A blush crept slowly up her cheeks. "For freaking out the way I did."

 

He felt like he'd taken another punch to the gut! First she thanks him and then she apologizes? "God, Sam!" He cradled his face in his large hands. "You have nothing to apologize for...I should have realized...." He shook his head in wonder, she continually amazed him! Kissing her gently, he disengaged himself from her; rolling to his back and pulling her into his arms. She immediately curled into his side, her body a warm weight against him, her head resting on his chest. He began idly caressing her hair. "I know what's happened between us has been unexpected." He snorted. "Well, maybe not that unexpected." Her arms tightened around him and she nuzzled his chest. "Let's just say, that I wish things had been different."

 

"I'm not sure what you're saying, Jack." Her voice sounded thoughtful and he swore he could hear her the wheels in her brain turning. "You wish the whole situation with Jolinar had happened differently? Or you wish that what has happened between us was different?"

 

He considered her words carefully; not sure what to say and finally settling for what was in his heart. "For both, I guess. That I had been strong enough to resist Jolinar's seduction and that our...relationship," he stumbled a bit over the word, but it seemed to be the best word to describe their current situation, "had started differently".

 

"So...we have a relationship?" This time, he swore he could hear the laughter in her voice. Sliding his hand into her hair, he gently pulled her head back so he could see her face. She was smiling but he could also detect a certain wariness in her beautiful blue eyes. 

 

His lips curved into an easy smile. "Yeah, I guess we do." She continued to look doubtful and he started getting that uneasy feeling again. "That's a problem?"

 

"Fraiser wants me to take three months medical leave."

 

He raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Okay, she's forcing me to take three months leave." She raised up on one elbow and he gazed up at her. Her eyes were still cautious and he couldn't figure out where she was going with her comments. "When she first told me, I fought against it, but she insisted." She smiled then, and for the first time since the discussion had started her eyes looked hopeful. "Three months off the team doesn't seem like such a bad thing right now." She lifted her hand from his chest and teased her fingers through his hair in a telling caress. "It will give us time."

 

Jack couldn't hide the relief flooding through him with her words. She was willing to give them three months...after everything that had happened, she would take the risk with him. Jack cupped the back of her head with one hand and pulled her down for a hard kiss. When they both drew away, gasping for breath, he murmured, "I'm not sure that three months will be long enough."

 

She laughed then and the sound filled his heart with gladness. "Well then, we'll just have to ask for a permanent extension...Jack."

 

THE END


End file.
